GIRLS ALOUD | Hoxton Heroes


You took some acid back in '99
You said it blew your mind
And it helped you write rhymes
So you bought a trilby and a cheap guitar
You thought you'd be a star
It didn't get you that far

I don't know your name
You're just another band with a different game
And you're all the same
You said you played at Reading
Then you chart at fifty-seven

You're off your face like you're number one
How many tracks have you sold?
Mmmmm, none
Walk 'round the place like you're number one
So why don't you write a tune
That we can hum?

Just 'cos your dad knew the Rolling Stones
You've got the Primrose set in your cell phone
Don't kid yourself, you're an indie clone
We've seen it before, get a sound of your own

You only follow Sinatra
'Cos you, you couldn't get into Rada
So let's try a little bit harder
'Cos you need more than jeans and a parka yeah yeah

Just 'cos your dad knew the Rolling Stones
You've got the Primrose set in your cell phone
Don't kid yourself, you're an indie clone
We've seen it before, get a sound of your own

You can make history
If you just stayed off the whiskey
And yeah you might just look like a rock star
But how much soul did it cost ya, cost ya?
x appears on:
Can't Speak French (2008) CD 2

x Written by Girls Aloud & Xenomania.
Produced by Brian Higgins & Xenomania.
Mixed by Tim Powell & Brian Higgins.
Keyboards & Programming: Tim Powell, Brian Higgins, Owen Parker & Miranda Cooper.
Guitar: Owen Parker.

x "Hoxton Heroes" is a b-side of "Can't Speak French", released on March 17, 2008.

x It was first mentioned in an interview with The Guardian. Miranda Cooper (from Xenomania) said: "We've written a song called Hoxton Hero. Me and the girls got on an amazing rant, taking the piss out of the whole indie scene". Kimberley Walsh (from Girls Aloud) stated: "They say we're a manufactured band, but they're just as manufactured."

x "Hoxton Heroes" was considered "too controversial" to be included in Tangled Up and was dropped from the album.

x (...) it's a song about how indie musicians have rubbish songs which don't sell. The song might make more sense if melodic guitar music hadn't decimated the pop landscape and if Girls Aloud hadn't been quite happily embraced by most portions of the Hoxton set - basically, it would need to be sung by Westlife six years ago to make real sense - but it is an 'enjoyable romp' nonetheless. Popjustice

x In this song, Girls Aloud verbally eviscerate some conceited British indie musician, tearing into his privileged background, poor wardrobe, pathetic chart placements, and utter lack of tunes. In other words, it sounds like a Pop Justice blog post set to a particularly heavy Xenomania track. There's just something so perfect about this -- in part, it's because it's fun to hear them rip into these sort of dull, obnoxious post-Coldplay types, even if it's done on entirely shallow and materialistic terms. Mostly, though, I just love that they're putting out a song so squarely aimed at their most rabid fans on the internet. Matthew Perpetua

x They only did it because they know they have a large 'indie' following, it's not like they did a track trashing how regee's been stagnent for the past decade, is it? The band know they're a parody of themselves which is part of the magic.
You can debate the depth of 'what it all really means' to music, but at the end of the day it's some of the best pop England's produced in the past decade. The same goes for the Monkees, completely manufactured, but at the end of the day enough good tunes to stuff a blue whale.
Sometimes it's nice to be able to bob your head, sing along and do a crap little dance with your girlfriend in H&M without worrying about context. Baggsy

x Over at the NME messageboards, 'ver kids' are up in arms because (brace yourself) the title is lifted from the lyrics of an indie record.
"Why steal the title from a hadouken! song?" asks Alexelworthy. "You sad sad under-acheiving bunch of whelks."
NB: Girls Aloud were not molluscs last time we checked.
On the girl group's Myspace page, someone has even gone to the trouble of signing up and applying to be added as a friend in order to post the following sage thoughts. "THATS A DISGUSTING TRACK! AND THAT SONG SOUNDS RUBBISH ANY WAY. AND THATS COMING FROM A MUSIC STUDENT! WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU SLUTS!!!"
Sadly, this sexism reflects the general tone of the debate. Alisoon Fersure calls Girls Aloud "tarts", Kay123x notes they are "bimbo clones" while Zoo-niverse says they "give women a bad name".
What this has to do with anything is unclear. Perhaps women's opinions don't count unless they look like Beth Ditto.
But my favourite comment of all is this: "pop = no credibility, indie nd anything else = credibility. u suck". From next week, the NME will be using this gem as their strapline.
But, while it's endlessly amusing to watch a group of teenagers having kittens over a pop song, what they all seem to be missing is that it isn't even an attack on their precious indie heroes.
It's an attack on bad indie, and the hangers-on it attracts. It's about the Kooks copying Razorlight as their drama school dissertation. It's about talentless liggers like Peaches Geldof and Kimberley Stewart latching onto these bands and claiming kudos because "their dads knew the Rolling Stones".
Hadouken! have even come out in defence of the song on their own website. "Hadouken would like to distance themselves from any offensive remarks and criticisms voiced by their fans towards the five ladies collectively known as Girls Aloud... Should the girls require any assistance or support in the epic battle against the evil forces of indie rock, particularly on their forthcoming tour, Hadouken would be keen to oblige in any way possible." (this comment was quietly removed overnight. I have no idea why). discopop

x fan made video

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